Here’s a brief update from the road — specifically, from gorgeous Grand Teton National Park.

I’m in LOVE with our current campsite. This is the finest camping locale we’ve enjoyed all year. We are surrounded by wilderness. We have a tremendous view of some of the most beautiful mountains in North America while LYING IN BED. This area is frequented by bison, moose, elk, and the occasional bear. Seriously, if this campsite was a piece of privately owned land for sale, the lot would cost at least a half million bucks. Sure, there are NO HOOKUPS OF ANY KIND and overnight temperatures are dropping into the low 30s. But in a way, that’s what makes it fun. We’re roughin’ it Airstream-style in one of the most beautiful places on earth.

Like salmon, every few years we migrate back to the Yellowstone/Teton area. (Hopefully the local bears won’t treat us like salmon.) In our video I discuss Sean & Kristy’s first camping experience TOGETHER. It happened in Yellowstone National Park. We didn’t have a fancy Airstream or any RV. We had a TENT, a leaky air mattress, and a couple of thin sleeping bags. We experienced a few hardships, but we had a BLAST. That sort of adventure is what it’s all about.

That’s the ultimate point of this website. Life is a collection of experiences. Most of the best have NOTHING to do with the gear you own. Adventure is out there for you to find, and you don’t need a lot of expensive equipment or a fat bank account to find it.

Let me draw upon a couple of life experiences to explore this point.

First, here’s a counter-intuitive trek that has little to do with camping. Back in the early 1990s, I taught English to schoolchildren in Czechoslovakia. From late summer 1992 to spring 1993 I lived in the land of cheap (but FANTASTIC) beer and pork dumplings. That was the year the country split apart politically, and Czechoslovakia became the Czech Republic & Slovakia. Sounds scary, but it wasn’t. The so-called “Velvet Divorce” took place without a shot being fired.

My employer was the Bratislava, Slovakia city school system. Monthly salary? Around $120, give or take. Yes, $120 a MONTH. My net worth hovered around zero and my luxuries were limited (although I did own about $20 worth of bootleg Polish music tapes).

In Europe, I had the time of my life! No money whatsoever, but the time of my life. Somehow I managed to see not only Czechoslovakia, but most of Europe — Hungary, Poland, Austria, Italy, Sweden, and Germany, to name a few. How did I do it? Money went to the absolute necessities — train tickets, hostels, and inexpensive food. Somehow I managed to make ends meet. Note that the dollar went a LONG way in my preferred haunts in Eastern Europe. When you can buy a tall glass of brew for 30 cents, what more do you need? Those months spent abroad were enormously influential, and I still reference them daily.

I’ve since returned to Europe many times. As an adult traveling to Europe, I’m staying in better places and eating in better restaurants. Am I having a better time? Nah. If anything, I’ve discovered that travel is like an addictive drug; what gave you a “buzz” the first time around isn’t as likely to do it when you take your second hit. You’ve got to move forward in search of the next thrill. Yes, money helps, but if you’re not careful it can also insulate you from the adventure. Satellite TV and room service are not what makes Paris great. Granite counter tops are lovely, but they have little to do with camping.

My second “mind over money” life experience happened in Yellowstone National Park. I worked in the Park in 1991 (and later in 1994). My first job was”kitchen helper.” Later I moved on to my favorite role — that of “ice cream scooper.” Again, I made no real money (although I scored some nice tips for scooping up huge amounts of ice cream!). NO ONE works in the Park for money (at least no one stuck in the bowels of the kitchen ). You work there for the experience. Yellowstone is like a different planet, one with clearer skies, crisper air, and natural wonder (including the occasional grizzly bear) lurking around every corner. Yes, there really are more stars in the sky at night. Until you’ve experienced life in this magical place, no amount of verbal description will do it justice.

This brings me back to our video, and the topic at hand — GEAR and how it relates to adventure. We all obsess about gear, and I am as guilty as the next guy. Sure, it’s nice to have an Airstream, a diesel truck, and a generator. Maybe you want a Prevost, or a Winnebago, or a Tiffin. Yes, it’s a luxury to be able to travel with these sorts of material possessions and creature comforts at our disposal.

But this stuff costs money, sometimes lots of it. As the great philosopher Jagger once said, you can’t always get what you want. If you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.

You don’t “need” an expensive rig to go out and have a good time. You just need the spirit to get out there and do it. A talented photographer can take stunning photos with an iPhone. An amateur will take clunkers with a Canon 5D. You can have a wonderful time with a cheap Kmart tent and a couple of sleeping bags. It’s never about the gear; it’s about the person.

Kristy and I are certainly fortunate to have the time, good health, and resources to travel to the extent we have. I am appreciative of these opportunities and experiences.

“Do it while you’re young,” senior citizens repeatedly tell us. We’ve taken their advice to heart.

I say, whether you are young or old, rich or poor, have a Prevost or a tent, it doesn’t really matter.

Do it.

Get hitched — and carpe diem.

And by the way, I know the audio/video sync is off in the video. I’ll fix it when I have the time, not to mention the electricity!

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Here ya go folks. Fresh new post from the hardest workin’ man in the bloggin’ business!

Sure, I don’t post as often as some. But hey, who else gives ya a FRICKIN’ TV SHOW in their blog? (Oh, I guess Diablo Cody does — in RED BAND TRAILER. Anyway…)

You must agree that this is highly unusual. I’m the one man band of film making. (All we need is one of those giant drums strapped to my chest.) If “Long Long Honeymoon” is a blog, then our tow truck is a Tonka.

But enough with the failed SAT analogies. I digress…

Let’s focus on the topic at hand: Michigan’s UPPER PENINSULA. What is there to say about the U.P.? Quite a lot, actually. I’ll SAY it once I’ve got time to TYPE it. Stay tuned to this space.

In the meantime, as Einstein taught us, a picture is worth a thousand words.

His famous equation? p = 1000w

This MOVING PICTURE is 9:25 (565 seconds) in length. At 24 frames per second, it contains 13,560 pictures. Applying our simple formula, that equals 13,560,000 words!

Hmmm, over 13 million words… I am getting long-winded.

I really like this video, even though it’s a little more … somber? than our norm. It reflects the emotions we experienced when traveling through the remote, sparsely populated area. A shipwreck museum, while fascinating, isn’t exactly a barrel of laughs!

I particularly enjoy the sensation of being “out there,” and for us the U.P. qualifies. Rest assured that we loved seeing the U.P.

If you enjoy LongLongHoneymoon.com, tell friends, family, and random strangers! Pass it on! YOU are our marketing department, my loyal peeps. I’m too busy fiddling with camera gadgets…

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This video clocks in a little longer than our usual fare. I can’t determine what the ideal length might be for an Internet video. For some people, the shorter the better. (For you short attention span people, our shortest video on YouTube is about 9 seconds long.) Other people tell me they want longer videos. Well, for this crowd, here ya go!

This video about Chicago is one of our lengthiest, with a running time of 8:00. It’s not exactly Lord of the Rings, but it’s longer than my original “Hello Blog!” days. I guess we’ll toss it out there onto the Internets and see what happens.

So, what about camping in Chicago? Truth be told, it’s quite difficult to camp in Chicago, especially if you want a full hookup campground. We’re getting a little soft these days, wanting to take showers and all. There are not many (or to be more accurate, not ANY) full hookup choices available near the city center. Maybe one of these days someone will open a downtown RV resort, but it hasn’t happened yet.

So we opted to stay outside the city and drive in for exploration. There are benefits to this approach. Namely, instead of parking downtown in a barbed wire parking lot, we enjoyed a rural camping experience. There are obvious downsides too, in that visiting the city required about an hour’s drive along packed tollways. We experienced a daily commute, Chicago style. (The toll roads would be much more efficient were it not for the, ahem, toll booths.)

I’ve done plenty of business in Chicago over the years. My usual routine was to arrive at O’Hare Airport, take a cab to the city, and check into my hotel. Most of my impressions of the city were thus formed by hotels, various office buildings, and the core downtown area. This RV camping trip was educational because we were able to visit the suburbs and neighborhoods outside the city center. I feel we got a well rounded taste of the city since we saw it from a commuter standpoint.

Food? Chicago is famous for its unique food, and we had our share. We sought out a number of interesting local establishments. In the video you will see several, including Lou Malnati’s deep dish pizza, and the infamous Superdawg (which is actually quite delicious as hot dogs go). We also grabbed a fantastic heavy metal burger at Kuma’s Corner, and a family style Italian meal at Tufano’s. I’ll do a video about Tufano’s in a future post. One of the reasons we travel is to experience different cultures, and food plays a key role. In Chicago any pretensions of a healthy diet were tossed out the window. This town is not known for its tofu.

Back to the camping. Our campground was a place called Lehman’s RV Resort, located in Marengo, Illinois. The people were friendly, the campsites were nice enough (paved pads & full hookup) in a utilitarian sort of way. Not a lot of trees in our section. It was a good choice for us, but the distance from the city will make it less attractive for some. You will be faced with an hour or so drive into the city. If you’ve ever spent any time in Los Angeles this is no big deal, since in Southern California it takes an hour to cross the street.

As for Chicago itself? You get all the benefits of a massive metropolis, delivered with a pleasant Midwestern attitude. What’s not to like?

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As we meander around North America, we always set aside a little time to stop in local eateries. It’s often rough on the waistline, but many fond travel memories are made at the dinner table.

We’ve found all sorts of fun places along the way. Some new, some old. Some pricey, and some cheap. Some fancy, and some… like Chili John’s in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

We arrived in Green Bay on a steamy summer day. What better way to satisfy one’s appetite than a bowl of SPICY CHILI? Admittedly, this is not really summer food.

Chili John’s is one of those places that no doubt thrives on bitterly cold Green Bay weather. I’m sure that in the dead of winter, a heaping bowl of hot chili is just what the doctor ordered. Although we were here in summertime, Chili John’s was nevertheless on our short list of local restaurants. It met all the necessary criteria.

Historic? Check (since 1913).

Unique menu and/or theme? Check (chili!).

Loaded with character? Hmm

First impressions of Chili John’s were less than flattering. The business was founded in 1913, and the original recipe hasn’t changed in 80 years. So we arrived expecting some sort of historic location. But in fact Chili John’s is now located in a battleship gray strip mall next door to a music shop named Dick’s. If I’m being honest, the exterior is about as charming as a bus station.

But things brighten up a bit when we step inside. The restaurant is dominated by a long central lunch counter. There are also a few tables and chairs scattered throughout the room.

Chili John’s interior decor registers a faint blip on the charm meter, but it holds promise in a utilitarian sort of way. There’s something about the elbow-to-elbow lunch counter experience that recalls days of yore. It’s not hard to imagine long rows of hungry men wearing horn-rimmed eyeglasses and thick winter coats, each scarfing bowls of beans and mystery meat.

In the center of the room are large stainless steel pots. Inside those pots, THE CHILI. Now we’re getting somewhere. Nothing fancy — just huge steaming cauldrons of beans, meat, and spaghetti.

Spaghetti?! Yes, Chili John’s does offer an innovative spin on chili.

No, you won’t find truffle oil or pine nuts. But the spice is actually mixed together with the meat. So an order of “hot” chili contains the most meat, while an order of “mild” contains the least. The chili itself consists of said meat layered upon a bed of beans and, optionally, spaghetti noodles. I was assured that the proper way to order Chili John’s signature entree was to include spaghetti.

From a certain point of view, this “chili” is a form of spaghetti sauce. Yes, it’s technically chili (and lacks the tomato twang of true spaghetti sauce), but it’s sort of like piling a huge mound of meat sauce & beans on top of a modest arrangement of spaghetti noodles. Per our usual decadent chili ritual, we crammed our bowls full of extra cheese, sour cream, onions, and jalapenos.

So, how was the sauce, err, chili? It was fine. At the time of our meal, I was underwhelmed — probably because we were downing a bowl of hot chili in the middle of JULY.

But in the days since we departed Chili John’s, a funny thing happened. I found myself thinking about the chili. In fact, I daresay I began CRAVING a second bowl of the stuff.

Chili John’s spin on chili really is … different. It’s got something to do with the spicy meat. I’ve never had chili quite like this chili. At the very least, you’ve gotta give Chili John’s credit for doing it their way.

If I lived in Green Bay, I’d go to Chili John’s along with the rest of the locals. Maybe often. If you find yourself passing through Green Bay, give Chili John’s a try. Go for the hot! In addition to a satisfying meal, you’ll get a taste of Green Bay history.

And by the way, in an odd twist of history, there’s one other location of Chili John’s — in California! Many years ago the owners of Chili John’s sold license rights to the secret recipe and brand to another person. They opened a Chili John’s in Burbank! So if you are in Los Angeles and are craving a bowl of unusual “old school” chili, you too can visit Chili John’s.

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Our visit to Amish country sent us back a few hundred years. While not quite the Wacky Wayback Machine of Amish land, Mackinac Island rolled the clock back at least a century or so.

Mackinac Island is a charming tourist destination that’s distinguished by what it DOESN’T have: motorized vehicles. It’s also a quaint little town with lovely Victorian architecture, well groomed parks, a marina, and a plethora of tourist-oriented shops and restaurants. But the REAL draw is the absence of cars. This is the anti-LA.

Why is not having cars such a big deal? It’s often said that Americans have a love affair with the car. The truth is that while we may indeed love cars, in the parlance of the times…it’s complicated.

We love the way cars make us feel. (Although most Ferrari are a bit more inspiring in this department than most Kia.) We love iconic car design, new and old. We love going fast. We love the freedom that cars have afforded us to explore this spectacular continent. If we were towing our Airstream with a pack of horses, our Long Long Honeymoon would be long indeed.

But cars have their downsides. About 100 years ago, bureaucrats began reorganizing cities to accommodate cars. In a nutshell, this meant the elimination of many pedestrian areas. It also facilitated a mass exodus from downtown areas to suburbs. Hey, they gave us what we wanted.

Cars are not only exorbitantly expensive to purchase, maintain, fuel, and insure, they are also incredibly dangerous. We suffer a little Vietnam War body count every year in the United States in terms of highway deaths. Meanwhile, they generate copious amounts of pollution and noise.

So it’s refreshing to step into a place without cars. Mackinac Island not only bans cars, it bans ALL MOTORIZED VEHICLES. Even electric bicycles will not be found here.

This universal ban by the city turned out to be a fantastic strategy to attract tourists. Let’s face it: you can buy fudge anywhere. You can view rock formations anywhere. You can visit shoreline anywhere (at least anywhere along Lake Huron). But you can’t escape motorized vehicles anywhere, not even in Amish country. In fact, you need to come to ONE PLACE: Mackinac Island.

Visiting Mackinac Island requires a little effort. There’s no bridge (naturally!) connecting the island to shore. So you need to take a ferry. The tickets cost a little over $10 per person, so if you plan on returning home, a couple will spend about $40 a day in fares. On the bright side, the ferry rides are fun and kids travel for half price.

Mackinac Island itself is basically a 3.8 square mile small town. In the off season (with winters so brutal that *don’t tell the tourists!* snowmobiles are allowed!) only a few hundred people brave the elements year round. So it’s a small town that comes alive during warm summer months. As a tourist destination, it has everything that you would expect. Lots of average restaurants, and a few good ones. Lots of t-shirt shops, and a few good ones. And then there’s that hotel.

The crown jewel of Mackinac Island is the Grand Hotel, an enormous Victorian behemoth perched high on a hillside overlooking Lake Huron. It’s grand indeed.

Although we didn’t stay at the hotel, we visited one evening for a brief poke around. The hotel facilities are impressive and make you feel like you’re prowling the deck of the Titanic around formal dinner hour. Unfortunately, no one wore “Get hitched” t-shirts during Victorian times. Although we weren’t asked to leave, we felt quite out of place. So after taking a quick gander at the festivities, we politely recused ourselves and returned to the unwashed masses.

Mackinac Island is a beautiful and unique place. The nearby camping is also good. Once you reach this portion of Michigan, in the shadow of the Mackinac Bridge to the Upper Peninsula — you really begin to feel like you are “out there” in a fabulously rural camping environment.

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Several years ago, my brother and his family lived in Detroit. I thus visited the Motor City many times. While we spent much of our time just hangin’ out in the suburbs, we also explored vast expanses of urban sprawl for which Detroit is famous (and/or infamous). Thereafter, whenever someone mentioned “Michigan,” my brain conjured images of concrete, steel, and asphalt.

But this stretch of our Long Long Honeymoon has opened my eyes. The vast majority of Michigan could not be more different from Mo-Town. Most of the state is blessedly rural. The western coast is fantastic, as Lake Michigan is practically an ocean. As you travel north, summer camping just gets better. We’ve been rewarded with idyllic weather (sunny days, low humidity, cool nights) and spectacular coastal views.

We’ve also found charm and culture. Traverse City is hailed as the Cherry Republic (and to think we started our journey in Key West, the Conch Republic!). But the area near Traverse City is wine country. On nearby Old Mission Peninsula we discovered one of Michigan’s best wineries: Chateau Grand Traverse.

This family winery was founded back in the mid-1970s by Ed O’Keefe. The Michigan countryside reminded O’Keefe of German wine country. So why not grow the same grapes here that flourish in Germany? At the time, naysayers believed such grapes would not survive the Michigan climate. But O’Keefe (and his grapes) persevered, and today his winery produces award-winning Rieslings, amongst other varietals.

Wine tasting at Chateau Grand Traverse is FREE, as are hourly guided tours. I’m a red wine drinker, so I favored the outstanding Pinot Noir. But I did sample the Lot 49 Riesling that has won international awards and is certainly one of the finest white wines ever to pass this man’s palate.

Chateau Grand Traverse also produces several wines flavored with native cherries. The Cherry Festival Wine was surprisingly good. Upon Kristy’s insistence, we also departed with a bottle of Grand Traverse Select Sweet Traverse Red, a sweet (but not too sweet) red wine blend.

The winery has RV parking. If you want to step out of the RV for a night or two, there’s a fabulous Winery Inn on the property. The Inn offers rooms with private balconies overlooking the vineyards. It also has laundry facilities, which were especially helpful for us. Best of all, the daily towel service includes a bottle of wine of your choice!

If you find yourself wandering this part of Michigan (and if you enjoy fabulous summer camping, you should), stop at Chateau Grand Traverse. We loved it.

Special thanks to Ed O’Keefe Sr. and the staff at Chateau Grand Traverse for their hospitality.

Also thanks to fellow Airstreamer Nick Martines for steering our Long Long Honeymoon in this direction!

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Okay, this is a weird one. The Amish pose a compelling conundrum for a travel blog.

We travel types are motivated to explore. Not unlike Captain Kirk, we seek out new life and new civilizations. Most of us embrace modern technology along the way (yes, you can have my iPhone 4… when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers). With all of my video gear, sometimes our Airstream looks like a bloated Best Buy threw up. We never met an electrical hookup that we didn’t like.

What about the Amish? The Amish really don’t care about travel. They’re content to travel no further than the county line. An Amish travel show would consist of a few square miles. I’m reminded of hobbits happily working in the Shire. They’ve little interest in other cultures. Technology? These guys won’t even hookup their HOUSE to the grid.

Yet there’s a lot to admire about the Amish. They are self-sufficient, and by all accounts generally a happy and satisfied people. The driving motivation of the Amish is to remain OFF THE GRID. Many Amish will indeed use modern tools IF those tools can be powered by (OFF THE GRID) solar or a diesel / gasoline generator. (I guess they have no problem with oil refineries? Hmmmm)

And about that oil… Do you consider yourself an environmentalist? Do you think you’re green? The Amish make so-called environmentalists look about as green as a BP sign. By eschewing electricity and automobiles, the Amish “carbon footprint” is smaller than most amoebas. Those Amish buggies make your hybrid look like an indulgent joke.

Not only do the Amish live without electricity and cars, they also rank very low on the consumption scale. You probably generate more tech waste in a year than an Amish person does in a lifetime.

There are many layers of irony in the “simple” Amish lifestyle. Henry David Thoreau was an advocate of simplicity, right? Yet he did not consider the farming life simple in the least. In Walden he pities the poor souls “whose misfortune it is to have inherited farms, houses, barns, cattle, and farming tools; for these things are more easily required than got rid of.” He called these fellows “serfs of the soil” and basically railed against a long life of manual labor. In the old ant vs. grasshopper debate, Thoreau was siding with the green guy.

So, what about RV camping in The Amish Zone? It’s surprisingly a lot of fun to step back in time. The food is fresh, organic, and delicious. The countryside is gorgeous. There’s no shortage of arts and crafts. Discount quilt madness! We stayed at Scenic Hills RV Park in Berlin, Ohio. While the campground would benefit from a few extra trees, overall it was a pleasant place to park. They even offer free firewood, wood scraps culled from local furniture makers.

Overall, you gotta respect the Amish. As Sinatra might say, they do it their way. Yet there are certain aspects of the belief system that leave me scratching my head. Most troubling is the fact formal education ends after 8th grade. I have always prized education, so the thought of an entire social system rejecting it is more than a little strange.

I’m not the type of person who enjoys preaching my own religious and political beliefs. Here’s what’s fascinating: neither are the Amish. Unlike pretty much every other group in the world, they aren’t trying to convert the rest of us to their way of thinking. I respect the fact that the Amish are happy to live their own lives without trying to change the rest of us.

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It takes all kinds to make the Airstream / RV camping world go ’round. Over the course of our travels, we’ve met the gamut. From young families with kids, to retired married couples, to solo travelers. Some folks just camp on weekends. Others go at it full time. Falling in the latter category (aka “fulltimers”) is Michael Depraida.

An artist, Michael works from the road. He hasn’t always pursued this lifestyle. He was once fully engaged in the New York rat race, plugging away at commercial art for an advertising firm. He was racking up a collection of all the material possessions we’re taught to desire.

“I had the house… the car … the boat. Heck, I even had a motorcycle,” he said.

But one day, he decided that his relentless pursuit of stuff wasn’t delivering satisfaction. So he hit the reset button on his career. He rebooted his life.

He sold everything, traded his cubicle for an Airstream, and hit the road. Ten years later, the “Artstream” is still going strong.

Liberated from most material possessions and their collective financial weight, he was free to create the art he wanted to create. He started creating it in places he wanted to visit. He’s spent the last decade exploring North America.

The New Yorker who had never experienced the American West now professes a love of the desert. Like many full-timers, he’s technically a resident of South Dakota – - simply because that state has the most favorable tax and residency regulations. He’s constantly on the go, exploring what lies beyond the next horizon.

He’s become a favorite on the Airstream scene. A few years ago he started creating art inspired by the iconic silver trailers. It has been well received. Order artwork from Michael (CampstreamUSA.com), and he’ll create it in his Airstream . He’ll even customize it to your wishes. Then he’ll drop it in the mailbox, wherever he may be.

We all have vastly different and equally valid reasons for camping. The full-time lifestyle appeals to a select few RV owners whose wanderlust is not satisfied by the occasional trip or two weeks of vacation. For these people, the journey truly is the destination. The “trip” is their lifestyle, as career seamlessly dovetails with travel.

“This life is not for everyone,” Michael concedes.

But for one artist, it’s just what the doctor ordered.

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As we haul our Airstream throughout North America, we often spotlight camping destinations along the way. But how about the PEOPLE we meet? Cities and parks are nice and all, but people are unforgettable. RV campers are generally a warm and friendly lot.

We were stopped in a West Virginia Walmart parking lot when a man approached. This is not unusual. People often approach to chat about our Airstream. Even the uninitiated are often curious. (“Hey, do they still make those things?”)

I stepped outside our Airstream and we started talking. “Hi,” the man said. “My name’s Jim…”It turns out that Jim is a fellow Airstream owner. He also shares an enjoyment of photography. So we had a couple of things in common, right off the bat.

After chatting about Airstream and Alaska for a while, Jim noticed a problem with our hitch. Specifically, the emergency brake release wire was severed. (This can happen if the wire gets pinched between bits of steel while in transit.) Next thing you know, former electrician Jim is repairing the damaged wire.

“I’m a stickler about small details,” he explained.

After this impromptu session of Tool Time with Jim, he escorted our Airstream safely to downtown Wheeling. We went to a local restaurant together (Coleman’s Fish Market) where I enjoyed a delicious fish sandwich with a side of alligator soup. It’s always fun to “dine with the locals.” But sometimes you need the guidance of a local to find the right spot. Coleman’s was the right spot.

The moral of this story? The media likes to remind us whenever something goes wrong in the world. But a lot more things go right. The media tells us about bad people every day. But throughout our travels, we encounter good people everywhere.

When you travel, you never know when or where you’re going to make a new friend. Case-in-point: our friend Jim.

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As I’ve written before, on LongLongHoneymoon.com we’re committed to documenting the RV lifestyle — the good, the bad, and the ugly. So here’s a facet of RV travel we’ve never previously addressed. I suppose we could classify this job as “the ugly,” although it really isn’t particularly dirty. In truth, it’s the THOUGHT of black water that’s unappealing. Assuming you don’t make a MAJOR goof, the actual process of its removal isn’t so bad.

Along these lines, we’ve talked about dump stations — but what about dump stations that come to you? Okay, septic tank trucks are not exactly the sexiest topic in the world. But one of these days, especially if you dry camp at a rally or festival, you may find yourself in need of their services.

Think of ‘em like ice cream trucks. Except instead of bringing you frozen treats, they are taking away tankfuls of filthy water. (Okay, that wasn’t a good analogy AT ALL. But wouldn’t it be nice if the septic tank truck played a little musical jingle as it tooled around the campground?)

In all of our travels, this was the first time we ever made use of a mobile septic truck. We were faced with a unique situation. Not only were we dry camping, we were doing so in the middle of a soggy, wet field. Our 39-gallon gray water tank was almost full. Ordinarily we’d just hitch our Airstream and tow it to a nearby dump station. But after considering the mud and slop surrounding SEEMORE, we decided to flag down the septic tank truck.

So, what is there to know about “the Princess”? In an egalitarian gesture, she accepts both gray and black water. Also, her rules insist that RV owners MUST be present to actually pull open their water valves. (Presumably to avoid any stray liability from potential damage to your rig.)

The Princess is actually brilliant at performing her given task. Yes, my friends, THE PRINCESS SUCKS — and I mean that as a great compliment. The septic truck suction was be much more effective than your average “let gravity do the trick” water dump. For once, I felt like our black water tank was actually empty.

What about cost? Ah yes, the pesky issue of price. We shelled out twenty bucks for this convenience. We were in an unusual predicament. We were making a public speaking appearance and wanted to appear relatively clean to our fellow campers. We paid the moula primarily so we could enjoy a couple of hot showers. In that respect, it was money well spent.

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