I’ve blathered in this space before about Yellowstone, and why it’s God’s greatest creation since Eve, fire, the wheel, and the GPS. It’s the “oldest and best” park, the world’s first national park, and… BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

There I go again. Let’s face it: you’re tired of hearing me drone on about Yellowstone. So I thought I’d pull together a video of reasons why you should NEVER visit Yellowstone. Instead of hearing about all of the delicious reasons to visit, let’s consider some downside risks. Many of these involve the possibility of dying an unusual and violent death. Studies show that most people prefer to avoid unusual and violent deaths.

In Yellowstone, you run a reasonable risk of death by wild animal. In the video I refer to bison as “the most dangerous animals in the Park.” This is true, as Obi Wan Kenobi might say, from a certain point of view…

Bison are not necessarily the deadliest animals in the Park, but they cause the most human injuries. This is because many people act rather silly around bison, treating them like cuddly play toys. I heard about one woman who literally grabbed the horns of an adult male bison so she could turn its head and “get a better picture.” She ended up in the hospital with a severe (and arguably well deserved) goring. At the risk of sounding harsh, I don’t feel sorry for people who antagonize and agitate powerful wild animals. What was she thinking?

When I worked in Yellowstone, one tourist lost her left buttock in a bison goring. (Do you realize how much self-control is involved in relaying this story with a straight face?) It hit her from behind and tossed her twenty feet. Sayonara, butt cheek. I just hope she wasn’t a Hollywood butt double.

Then there are the bison-related snowmobile and auto accidents. Bison enjoy using the roads just like we do. If you hit a full grown male adult bison at high speed with a Fiat, for example, you may bruise the bison’s ribs. The Fiat, on the other hand, will be totaled. If you smash headlong into a two thousand pound bison with a snowmobile, you will be totaled.

What about bears? When pondering animal death in Yellowstone, everyone thinks of grizzly bear attack. In recent years bear attacks have been on the rise. Every year, a few people experience “negative human bear interactions,” as the rangers like to say. I wouldn’t want to die being eaten alive by a hungry bear – that would truly be a negative interaction, at least from my perspective. (Click here to see our incredibly informative bear safety video.) The most likely risk of a nasty bear encounter happens when hiking. To really enjoy Yellowstone, you need to lace up some boots and hit the trails. When you do so, you’d better make a lot of noise and pack some pepper spray.

I sincerely would prefer death by bear to taking a dip in one of Yellowstone’s geothermal features. Believe it or not, over the years many have suffered this cruel fate. In fact, more have died in Yellowstone by boiling than by bear. I do feel sorry for these people, even the ones who naively chose to jump into the pools. No one would voluntarily choose that fate. Obviously most have underestimated the amount of heat generated by the Yellowstone super-volcano. Those turquoise pools may look pretty, but they are as comforting as the average lobster pot.

Yellowstone simply isn’t like most other parks. If you take a wrong step, you can die an extremely painful death.

Geothermal features are generally well marked. Stay on the boardwalks and you will be fine. But whatever you do, please don’t go hiking after dark, with no flashlight, through a geyser basin. In 2000, three Park employees did just that – they fell into a 10-foot deep pool of boiling water, and one poor girl died from the resulting burns. Horrible to think about, isn’t it?

It looks innocent enough, but fall into Yellowstone's Cavern Spring (where water temps approach 200 degrees Farenheit) and you'll wish you were dead.

When I was working in the park, one employee got drunk and walked beyond the pathways into unsafe areas. He fell through the crust into a boiling hot pool. His body was pretty much destroyed from the waist down. He was airlifted from the park by helicopter (there are no real hospitals in Yellowstone). I’m not sure whether he survived.

Several wayward children have wandered into the thermal areas. A few poor souls, not realizing the intense heat of the geothermal areas, have voluntarily leapt into the pools chasing after dogs and the like. So let’s all consider today’s safety tip: never, ever, ever, ever, ever approach Yellowstone’s geothermal features with anything less than the utmost deference and respect. A healthy dose of fear, in this case, is warranted.

Another weird way to die in Yellowstone is by falling into the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone River.

“Aren’t there guardrails?” you ask.

Of course there are guardrails. There are also scores of foolhardy tourists who eagerly climb over said guardrails in order “to get a better picture.” Just about every year someone climbs beyond a guardrail, poses for a photo, loses his or her balance, and plunges several hundred feet to their death into the canyon. Hey, falling into the canyon wouldn’t be the best way to go – but it sure would beat boiling water or bear.

You’ll note that many victims in Yellowstone were Park employees. If you live full-time in Yellowstone, it makes sense that you are more exposed to its dangers.  Hopefully you are more attuned to them as well.

For me, working in the Park was a wonderful experience. Sure, the money sucks. You simply don’t work in Yellowstone expecting to make much money. Although your paycheck is laughable (useful mainly for buying pizza and beer in the employee pub), you will be compensated in other ways. You’ll form memorable friendships with your coworkers, and you’ll experience the Park to a degree that few others can appreciate.

For more information about working in Yellowstone, check out YellowstoneJobs.com.

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My wife has a Barnes & Noble Nook (also a fine e-reader), but I have a Kindle. Amazon makes Kindles in many different varieties that serve different needs and different budgets. Kindles have fixed storage capacities, but even the cheapest current model offers 2GB (enough to store about 1500 books!).

The author's own Kindle DX!

My own Kindle is the Mac Daddy DX version. It features a large 9.7-inch black & white (e-ink) screen that is not backlit. The “e-ink” screen makes it easy on the eyes in all sorts of lighting environments, even bright sunlight.

Overall I love my Kindle DX and its large display. But if there’s a drawback to my model, it’s that the DX is a bit bulky and heavy compared to the standard Kindles. It’s heavier in the hand. It’s also more expensive (thankfully, mine was a generous gift). I don’t think the DX sold particularly well, because Amazon isn’t really promoting it these days. The standard-sized Kindles are where the action is. Once you try one, it’s easy to see why.

A standard 6-inch Kindle.

My mother has two Kindles. One is the 6-inch size and the other (the new Fire model) is 7-inches – about the size of a traditional book. (For you ladies out there, Mom likes these sizes because they easily slip into her purse.) The standard e-ink Kindles are light as a feather and a joy to read. “Sometimes I forget I’m reading my Kindle,” Mom told me, “and I try to physically turn the book page!”

If you want larger text on a standard Kindle, it’s easy to adjust the font size to suit your eyesight. The entry level Kindle lacks a touchscreen, but it costs a mere $79. It weighs less than six ounces; if it was any lighter, it might blow away like paper! So it’s no wonder these amazing devices are selling like hotcakes.

The Kindle Fire tablet.

In addition to the 6-inch e-ink Kindle (a black & white unit that’s just like mine but more portable), Mom also has the new Kindle Fire. The Fire is a more robust tablet that’s comparable in performance to an iPad or Nook Tablet. Its backlit full-color touchscreen isn’t quite as eye-friendly for readers as e-ink, but it does a great job with Facebook, email, web surfing, playing videos, apps, and games like Angry Birds. There’s no camera or GPS, but if you want a reasonably priced tablet, the $199 Fire is the bargain of the year.

What about e-books? It’s my belief that e-readers should lead to a lower cost for books. We all should benefit by the permanent retirement of the “dead tree” delivery method. The end of paper-and-ink printing and distribution should mean better prices for everyone.

Along these lines, we’ve priced my e-book on RV camping (Long Long Honeymoon – Living Large in a Small Tin Can) cheaper than a cup of fancy coffee. For only $2.99, you get a whopping 80,000 word book on RV camping. Not a bad way to start the new year.

So that’s a quick look at the Amazon Kindle.

There are many e-readers available for your purchasing pleasure. One of the most popular rhymes with “book.” Why should I choose to focus on Kindle? Conspiracy theories abound. Am I biased? Have I loaded up our investment portfolio on AMZN? Or am I merely an Amazon fanboy who wears Jeff Bezos pajamas?

Nah. While I may be a bit of an Amazon fanboy, I started with Kindle because Amazon is currently KING KONG of the e-reader world. If recent sales figures are to be believed, Amazon is now perched on a skyscraper high above E-Reader Metropolis with Fay Wray sitting on its lap. Or is that Jeff Bezos in a dress?

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos in a dress? This is wrong on many levels.

With Kindles selling faster than mouse ears at Disney World, it’s good to be King Kong. But if there’s a pesky swarm of biplanes on the horizon, it’s the Barnes & Noble NOOK.

The author's book on his wife's NOOK.

The Nook is a series of e-reader devices sold by everyone’s favorite brick-and-mortar bookstore behemoth. These range from inexpensive e-ink readers (Nook Simple Touch) to more robust tablets (Nook Color & Nook Tablet). You can buy Nooks online, in 90,000-square-foot bookstores, in shady back alleys, and even in exotic specialty stores like Walmart.

After slugging it out with Amazon, Apple, and Sony for a couple of years, Barnes & Noble has carved out 25% of the e-reader market. I’m not sure whether that share grew or shrank this past retail quarter. But if a Nook tickles your fancy, current market share shouldn’t matter. Nooks are excellent devices and they have garnered a large and dedicated following. In fact, there’s a Nookite in my own family.

NOOK Simple Touch ($99)

About a year ago, my wife was choosing between Kindle and Nook. She chose NOOK. Why?

“I liked that I could check out e-books from our local library on Nook,” she told me, “and it was also easier to lend and borrow books from friends.”

Over the past year, Amazon has made strides by adding these features to Kindle, but her points were well taken. Nook was first to embrace book lending. Amazon arrived late to the party.

“Also,” she added, “I like that Barnes & Noble has real brick-and-mortar bookstores. If I bring my Nook into a store I can read any book for free. Sometimes they offer complementary coffees and that sort of thing to Nook owners.”

A national network of physical bookstores? Free hot beverages? The occasional slice of pumpkin pie? Amazon won’t be adding those benefits anytime soon. Advantage: Nook.

NOOK Tablet ($249)

Another feature of Nook that appeals to the geek in me is the micro SD card slot. The micro SD slot allows owners to easily expand the memory capacity of their Nooks. The only Kindle with such a slot was the first generation unit that Amazon no longer sells. All of the new Kindles have no memory expansion. (Sometimes I think Jeff Bezos graduated from The Steve Jobs School of Dumbing It Down.)

Along these lines, one exciting development in the world of NOOK was the Nook Color. While its full color backlit touchscreen is not as eye-friendly as e-ink screens, it is fantastic for displaying magazines and children’s books. But the real excitement? Nook Color could be “rooted” and converted into an Android tablet. Thousands of people bought and “rooted” Nook Color to Android so they could check Facebook, play Angry Birds, etc. In a way, these hacked Nook tablets paved the way for the Kindle Fire. Of course, now there’s also a fancy $249 Nook Tablet that offers a few spec sheet upgrades over the Kindle Fire.

The Nook Tablet is a premium color ereader. At $249, it’s half the price of the cheapest Apple iPad. It’s also $50 more than Kindle Fire. But it’s loaded with more memory than the Kindle Fire (1GB of RAM which makes it more speedy), allows for capacity expansion via the micro SD slot (only 1GB reserved for user content, but easily expandable up to 32GB), and an integrated microphone. The idea of the microphone is genius – it allows grandparents to narrate books for their grandchildren. Of course, the microphone also begs the question, “How many technology challenged grandparents will ever be able to figure out this feature?”

We could spend all day debating the technical pros and cons of “Nook versus Kindle,” but it strikes me as a “Ford versus Chevy” type of argument. Both camps have their loyal fans. Really, with the exception of the occasional tech failure, I’ve never heard an owner of either device regret their purchasing decision. At the end of the day, either a Nook or a Kindle will get you where you want to go.

You first need to decide exactly what you want to do. In other words, do you mainly want to read books? If so, a true “e ink” device with a black-and-white is what you want. Trust me, these black-and-white readers are fantastic for extended reading sessions. The screens are simply easy on the eyes.

If you want to do Facebook, browse the Web, and so forth, then your choices become more spendy and a little more complex. Or in the case of one option, spendy and simple…

It’s time to address the Godzilla of the e-reader world. Yes, we’re talking about Apple and its iPad tablet. If Amazon is King Kong, Apple is Godzilla. (In this analogy, Nook is Rodan; never underestimate Rodan.) While iPad isn’t a dedicated e-reader, many people use it as such.

NOTE: Images are not to scale (we all know that Godzilla is much larger than King Kong).

It wasn’t so long ago that ol’ Mister Black Turtleneck himself was standing on stage like some sort of Silicon Valley prophet, proudly holding his gleaming metal tablet aloft. The initial response was a collective, “Huh?” On that day Apple CEO Steve Jobs suffered a few snickers at the device’s name, which reminded some of a feminine hygiene product.

A lot has happened since that fateful day in 2010 when Jobs unfurled the iPad to skepticism and derision. It turned out that Jobs was once again right. The iPad became the most popular consumer product since running water. People around the planet bought RVs just so they could more comfortably camp outside Apple stores while waiting to buy the latest model. Apple became more valuable than the Earth itself.

You never know when NOOK might fly into the scene and crash Godzilla's party.

As for Steve Jobs, in 2011 he moved on to that great product launch in the sky. I read the authorized Steve Jobs biography (on my Kindle – sorry, Steve), and learned that he was almost as much a jerk as he was a genius. (I’m being generous by using the word “jerk” instead of a certain alternative.) Jobs had his own way of doing things. His approach worked wonders with technology, but not so great with people. One lesson we might draw from the Steve Jobs tale? Never rely solely on herbal teas and fresh fruit to cure pancreatic cancer.

Steve Jobs at the original iPad product launch. Good times...

In some ways, the iPad represents Steve Jobs’s final genius move on the global computing chessboard. Apple created the tablet market. The iPad has flourished where others have struggled. If you are considering full featured tablets, there’s the iPad and there’s everyone else. Many other tech firms have tried to compete with iPad, and failed spectacularly. Yes, Apple has acted like Godzilla in this tablet space, and has reduced many tech rivals to smoldering ruins. (Hey, anyone want to buy some HP stock?)

My in laws have an iPad and they love it. In fact, I’ve never really heard from anyone who didn’t enjoy the iPad.

The author's father-in-law browsing vintage vehicles on his iPad.

Every iPad comes equipped with an Apple logo; we all know what these logos do to price. The cheapest wifi-only model costs $499. A fully loaded model will cost you $829 (plus a monthly 3G contract with AT&T or Verizon). Even with these prices, iPad benefits from the Apple halo effect. Many consumers happily pony up a few extra hundred dollars to get the Apple gadget, even though cheaper alternatives abound. This is a key reason why Steve Jobs died with 7 billion dollars in the bank.

Apple's iPad 2 ($499 and up) is the Rolls Royce of tablets.

What is an iPad? It’s a 9.7-inch touchscreen equipped with a robust CPU and Apple’s intuitive iOS operating system. It’s kind of like a jumbo iPhone, but without the phone. This is not intended as criticism; the iPad is perhaps the best Internet content consumption device ever created. If you have any familiarity with iPhone, you already know how to use an iPad. It’s brilliantly easy to use. Steve Jobs dubbed the iPad experience “magical,” and who are we to argue? This is the Rolls Royce of tablets. Yes it costs more, but you get a very smooth ride. It does everything quite well. (Everything except play Flash content; Steve Jobs didn’t like Flash, so neither does iPad.)

Like other tablets, iPad really isn’t focused on content creation. Most people don’t go to the Internet to edit HD video or write the next War and Peace. If you want to check email and Facebook, browse websites, and even play a few games, do you really need a physical keyboard and mouse? The iPad has proven that you do not.

The iPad’s large backlit LCD touchscreen does not offer an “E ink” reading experience. For those of us who enjoy reading novels (and labyrinthine Steve Jobs biographies), an iPad is less than optimal. The backlit screen simply strains and tires the eyes after a while. Black-and-white e-ink devices like Kindle and Nook can be read all day long without eye strain. Nevertheless, a lot of people are doing a lot of reading on the iPad. The iPad is wonderful for magazines and the Web, and fine for short bouts of book reading.

The 9.7-inch iPad screen is larger than most of the competing ereaders. The larger size is nice, though it comes at a cost of weight and bulk. If you’re kicking back on the sofa or easy chair and browsing the Web, the iPad is tough to beat. But unlike Kindle Fire and Nook Tablet, the iPad isn’t purse ready. Sorry guys, but it probably won’t fit your murse either. It’s thin but it just isn’t as compact and lightweight as the less expensive competition. On the other hand, the build quality of the iPad is excellent. The iPad feels well crafted and solid in your hands.

What about apps? This is where iPad really shines. iPad benefits from Godzilla’s – I mean, Apple’s – massive network of third party developers who are churning out fresh apps on a daily basis. At last count the iPad boasted more than 250,000 separate apps (ranging from games like Angry Birds to social media like Facebook). There’s an app for just about every desire under the sun. And here’s a key point – you can install free Kindle and Nook apps for iPad. So if you want to buy books on Amazon / Barnes & Noble and read them on your iPad via the Kindle / Nook apps, feel free to do so.

At last app count, Android was catching up to Apple quickly via the Android market. But since Apple was the first on the scene with its iTunes apps market, it remains the gold standard.

If you’ve got the coin and want to indulge in a premium full featured tablet, it’s hard to find fault with the iPad. The main criticism these days concerns price, since there are lower cost alternatives available in the form of the Kindle Fire and Nook Color. Some Wall Street analysts have speculated that Apple will unfurl an “iPad Mini” to better compete with these tablets. But I would also state that if your primary goal is reading books (not magazines), the “e ink” screens offered by inexpensive Kindles and Nooks are better suited for this purpose.

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So here’s this year’s “video card” – shot during our December 12-19 transatlantic passage from Southampton to New York. The voyage crosses more than 2000 miles of North Atlantic Ocean during a season of predictably dangerous weather. To further bolster one’s confidence, the route passes within 80 nautical miles of the remains of the RMS Titanic.

The Queen Mary 2 is the largest ocean liner ever built. As a true ocean liner, it was built differently than cruise ships. It’s got 40% more steel in the hull, for example, than typical passenger vessels of comparable girth. It’s equipped with a couple of massive Rolls Royce stabilizers. In rough seas, these extend underwater from the hull of the ship and act like airplane wings. The stabilizers are said to reduce roll in extreme weather by 90%. So the Queen Mary 2 is not only a beautiful ship, but a capable one. She has been designed to handle the North Atlantic in winter.

Even so, when you toss force 10 winds and 30-foot swells at her, you’ll notice…

We encountered two separate storms on our transatlantic passage. Both generated swells in excess of 20-feet and winds in the gale force 9 and 10 range. Travel outside to the ship’s decks was forbidden for obvious reasons. But I was able to step onto our balcony and snap a few moments of video. The wind was powerful, cold, and laced with pellets of rain. I could only stand on our balcony for a few moments before retreating back inside the cabin.

Our stateroom was located near the front of the ship, fairly high on deck 8. Ship movement is most exaggerated towards this area of the ship. (If you think about a ship’s rocking motion during a storm, it makes sense that the most stable portion would be low and towards the center of the vessel.)

Technically our stateroom was an upgraded cabin, due to its location and the fact it was equipped with a clear plexiglass balcony. The balconies on deck 8 are not directly adjacent to the water since they overlook the deck 7 walking area. This is a benefit. If you somehow managed to fall off a deck 4 balcony, there would be a big splash. Sadly, it would probably be the final splash you’d experience in this particular lifetime. If you fell off a deck 8 balcony, you would hit wood and metal instead of water. It would be painful and probably injurious, but you might actually survive.

I guess in most situations the higher staterooms are the more desirable. But there’s an ironic old saying about passenger ships: “the more you pay, the more you sway.” As a practical consequence, this meant that our deck 8 stateroom was swaying wildly for several days. The pitch (vertical motion) was much more extreme than the roll (horizontal motion). The room was rising and falling with such force that when lying in bed, we got a genuine sense of weightlessness as the bed dropped through the air! Then, as the ship crested over the next swell, we felt ourselves pressed down into the bed with significant gravitational force. Oddly, at times this sensation could be comforting; it was like we were being rocked in a giant cradle.

Of course some passengers were afflicted with seasickness. Thankfully Kristy and I did not encounter seasickness. (We did contract an unfortunate viral bug in England that we battled during our voyage, but that was no fault of the ship or weather.)

The first three days of our seven day passage were dominated by this extreme weather. Rough seas transformed life on the ship. Due to the conditions, many shipboard entertainment events were rescheduled or cancelled altogether. (You can’t exactly have a group of people dancing around on stage during this sort of storm, else they go flying into the front row seats.) So there were certainly times that we were wanting the weather to clear.

But in hindsight, it was a spectacular travel experience. The weather turned our cushy cruise into a legitimate adventure.

After a couple of days of stormy travel, it began to dawn on me how unusual such an experience would be. “You know the weather’s bad,” I told Kristy, “when you see members of the crew stopping to watch it.” And we did see this happening all over the ship. Overall, the crew amazed me as much as the ship. They displayed a remarkable ability to “keep calm and carry on” despite the challenging circumstances.

I asked the ship librarian how often she sees comparable weather. She told me that she had not experienced anything so severe since Hurricane Ophelia in 2005. So, this transatlantic crossing was rare indeed. The entertainment director said “we’ll be talking about this one for the rest of the decade.” Kristy and I will be talking about it for the rest of our lives. (Thirty years from now, you can just tell me to stop since you already heard the story… )

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If you have ever watched Steven Speilberg’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind, you probably recognize Devil’s Tower. In the movie it served as a meeting place for aliens. It was a brilliant choice of location, because there’s something truly otherworldly about this place. It’s a mountain of rock that looks like no mountain you’ve ever seen.

Native Americans had their own theories about the origins of this geological oddity. Their folklore tells of a time when giant bears were chasing a handful of Indian maidens. The Great Spirit himself raised the Tower from the earth in order to save the damsels in distress. Giant bear claws thus created the deep vertical grooves around the outside of the tower.

Science has its own theories. But interestingly, even amongst the slide-rule & calculator set there’s not a clear consensus. Park Service signs outside the tower reference three different theories as to its formation. Sadly, none of these includes giant bears. The most likely is that Devil’s Tower is the remainder of an ancient volcano.

When Kristy and I visited, we took a little time to stop and hike around this base of the Tower. This was time well spent. It was not a particularly challenging or lengthy hike, but it was memorable. The majority of tourists in our national parks and monument rarely venture beyond the most obvious photo opportunities. Sometimes you will get a greatly enhanced perspective on a place by simply traveling a little further than everyone else.

We enjoyed a nice and mostly quiet hike. We spotted a few deer. And we watched a few humans attempt to scale the tower. Wherever there is a large rock, there will be people wanting to climb said rock.

We learned that Devil’s Tower is a special place amongst the native Indian tribes. For centuries, Devil’s Tower was not called Devil’s Tower. Due to its sacred nature, it was revered by Native Americans as something holy. Then in the 1800s it was taken away from those people by the U.S. government and turned into a Satanic-themed recreational area.

The Indians weren’t too thrilled when people began climbing the Tower for fun. So the Park Service now asks people to refrain from climbing the Tower during the month of June, when Indian tribes hold ceremonies outside the tower. They say that 85% of people honor the request; so I guess (according to my 7th grade mathematics) that means that 15% ignore it. The scientific term for those people is “buttocks area.” While one can understand the desire to climb the tower, I think out of simple respect and decency people could take the month of June off. That’s not asking much.

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It’s always a bizarre sensation when we return to our brick-and-mortar home after a few months in the Airstream. In the vast world of cavernous recreational vehicles, our Airstream is pretty small. But there’s a strange transition that happens when you adjust to the full-time experience. You get used to it. After a couple weeks of full-timing, you quickly adjust to the new normal.

While this may seem extreme to some, for others a five-month Airstreaming journey is just a warmup. Yes, there are those who travel for even longer periods of time in even smaller rigs. Enter Lani and Chris, a young couple who have traveled for a couple of years in a 23-footer.

This is another couple who decided to push the “work from home” concept to the extreme. Why wait for retirement to travel? If you can work from anywhere, then why not work from anywhere you want? When plotting the course of their telecommuting adventure, they chose between two seemingly dichotomous paths.

“I gave Lani two options,” Chris said. “We could either move to Argentina and experience life in South America, or we could move into an Airstream and see the United States. She chose the Airstream.”

That Argentina was an option validates what I’ve long suspected. The type of person who embraces full-time Airstream travel at a young age is often the same type of person who embraces international travel. It’s a mindset, a thirst for exploration and personal growth. That’s why Kristy and I have featured travel to Guatemala, El Salvador, Argentina, Jamaica, and Europe here on LongLongHoneymoon. Whether we’re camping or not, the motivating spirit is the same.

So, even though they had never spent a single night aboard an Airstream, Lani and Chris bought a 23-footer sight unseen. Next they bought a tow vehicle and tugged it to Florida. After establishing residency in the sunshine state for tax purposes, they ventured out into the country. Their path was not dissimilar to our own, as they took their Airstream west to places like Yellowstone, Banff, and the California redwoods.

Meanwhile, nature took its course when Lani discovered she was with child. At this news, many people might understandably pull the plug on the Airstream experiment. But Lani and Chris followed through, taking their Airstream to New Hampshire to have baby Emerson.

Has life aboard the Airstream always been an easy, blissful, joyous experience? Are you kidding? Any time you pursue an unconventional lifestyle that involves unique challenges, there are going to be some difficult times. A lot of people talk about tiny houses; these guys have been really doing it. Airstreams take the tiny house concept to the limit. At times Kristy and I have space issues with our 25-footer; I can only imagine what it would be like to add a newborn baby into the equation.

In her entertaining blog AluminumBliss.com, Lani has written with honesty and humor about the good days and the not-so-good days. At one juncture after having the baby, Lani wrote, “the Airstream life wasn’t working for me. I needed more than 160 square feet.” This reaction, it must be pointed out, is completely rational.

When I asked Chris and Lani to talk about the impact of Airstream travel upon their relationship, they just looked at me and laughed. Fair enough.

So there have been ups and downs. That’s to be expected. Life aboard an Airstream, just like life while traveling anywhere, remains life. When we seek out new experiences and turn our crazy dreams into reality, we can’t expect perfection. There will always be peaks and valleys. Hopefully the upside more than compensates for the downside. Hopefully we emerge from the experience a little wiser and a lot more satisfied.

A couple of years have passed since Chris and Lani departed on their Airstreaming journey. It’s possible that soon they will turn the page and begin a new chapter of their lives. Yes, they probably won’t live the rest of their lives inside a tin can. Guess what? We won’t either.

But they will move forward into the future with the knowledge that they did it. They turned a crazy idea into a viable lifestyle. They persevered and somehow made it work – for years. If they decide to park the Airstream and move on to the next adventure, they can do so with satisfaction. It’s far better to try and know, than to go through life wondering.

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If you walk into any electronics store, you’ll find HDMI cables are expensive, with some selling for $50 or more. Quite frankly, these high-priced HDMI cables are a RIP-OFF.

Do NOT Use HDMI Cables as Mental Floss.

Don’t get suckered into overpaying for an HDMI cable. Digital signals consist of ones and zeros – there’s no discernible difference in signal quality between a $50 cable and a $5 cable. It either works or it doesn’t.

HDMI cables deliver pure digital goodness, but that doesn’t mean they should be expensive. You can buy a nice HDMI cable for less than $5.

If you check out the reputable site Monoprice.com, you can pick up a nice 6-foot cable for $3.56.

http://www.monoprice.com/products/subdepartment.asp?c_id=102&cp_id=10240

Still too pricey for you? Here’s one on Amazon for $0.70. That’s SEVENTY PENNIES (plus shipping).

http://www.amazon.com/Super-Resolution-Cable-DVI-Gear/dp/B0002L5R78/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1204150160&sr=8-1

Repeat: EXPENSIVE HDMI CABLES ARE A RIP-OFF.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming…

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I’m happy to report that so far my dumb mistakes have caused minimal harm to others, our Airstream, and the environment. I haven’t pulled a BP and spilled ten billion gallons of black water in the Gulf of Mexico. I haven’t forgotten to properly hitch our Airstream before driving away. I’ve done little things. Like the time we were in North Dakota and I filled SEEMORE’s diesel belly full of gasoline.

What happens when you put unleaded gasoline in a diesel truck? My understanding is that you can put a few gallons in the tank and be okay. While I’m not recommending that you try it, I’ve been told that a couple of gallons in a large 30-gallon tank wouldn’t hurt things too much. An entire tankful of unleaded gas, on the other hand, can cause all sorts of trouble. It can cause your engine to go kaboom.

In this case, I was fortunate on a couple of fronts. First of all, I discovered the problem before cranking the truck. If I had fired up the truck and driven away, it’s very likely that damage to bearings, pistons, and even a head gasket could have been the result. Things would have gotten messy and expensive very fast. We would have faced a massive repair bill, one probably involving a rental car and an unplanned extended stay in a campground. Since I discovered the problem right away, the risk of damage was minimized.

Secondly, we were lucky that this problem happened in North Dakota. The state may have a small population, but it ranks unusually high on the “nice people” charts. Rodney, the fellow who rode to our rescue, was fantastic.

I spoke with him about the situation. In most places, the diesel island is 100 percent diesel. You can’t really screw up royally when pumping from the diesel island. In North Dakota, there is also unleaded fuel on the island. Hence my dumb mistake. When I pulled into the fueling station, I spotted the diesel island. I quickly hopped out of our truck and filled my tank with fuel from the first pump. It was only upon returning the handle to the pump that I discovered my mistake.

In the background under the red roof are the unleaded gasoline pumps. Our truck SEEMORE is parked at the diesel island. Usually when you see a dedicated diesel island that is separated from all of the unleaded gasoline pumps, you can only obtain diesel from that island. Here there was a gasoline pump on the diesel island.

Rodney told me that he’d visited this particular station before on a similar syphoning job.

“That guy was a Texas oil company executive,” Rodney said, “who was in town on business.”

I nodded. There were several oil fields in the vicinity of this North Dakota town.

“Boy, was he mad,” Rodney chuckled. “He couldn’t believe that there was unleaded gas on the diesel island.”

In contrast to the executive, I wasn’t angry. Sure, I think offering unleaded fuel on the diesel island probably isn’t the greatest idea, but the situation was ultimately my fault. I somehow managed to find the humor in the situation and laugh about it.

After Rodney finished syphoning the unleaded fuel out of our truck (a process that took at least an hour), it was time to settle up.

“What do I owe you?” I asked.

Rodney shook his head.

“Nothin’,” he replied.

“I need to pay you something,” I insisted.

“For what?” he said with a wry grin. “For takin’ your gas?”

Sure, I gave Rodney the tankful of gas, which he turn gave to local farmers. But most tow companies would have stuck me for a hefty bill. Let’s suppose he charged me $150. Then I would be out that sum plus the amount paid for the gasoline, so this fiasco would have been a $250 mistake. Then I would need to pump another $100 worth of diesel, meaning this would have been a $350 gas station visit. That’s enough to spoil anyone’s day.

But Rodney was incredibly kind and generous. We left town thankful that this particular dumb mistake happened in North Dakota. In the end, thanks to Rodney, it didn’t really spoil our day.

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Okay, things are pretty bad. But they’re not that bad. Recent economic activity resembles a dead dog on a freeway during rush hour, but people are still living their First World lives. It’s only a matter of time before Apple announces the next iPhone. Tell me – how bad can it really be when people are willing to CAMP OUT for a freakin’ phone? In other parts of the world, people are fighting for survival. Here people are fighting for the latest version of Angry Birds. But I digress.

Any way you slice it, the economy stinks – so why not share some money-saving ideas? I’ve always been a big believer in FRUGALITY. Whatever your net worth may be, it will be EVEN GREATER if you know how to use it wisely. Once, as a bearded, smelly twenty-something, I toured several European countries like Austria, Italy, and Czechoslovakia. It cost me about $30. Granted, I came home with a few extra fleas, but I learned how to stretch out a few measly dollars for days at a time.

Sometimes I joke about being a cheapskate. But it’s really not about being “cheap” per se; it’s about being SMART. There’s a word for people who are frivolous with their money. That word is “stupid.”

Let’s start by examining CLUBS. I’m not talking about sipping an Arnold Palmer down at the golf course while wifey takes tennis lessons from the buff young stud. I’m talking about those vast marketing organizations we join that promise to somehow save us money.

First up: COSTCO. Is Costco a “club?” In a sense, yes Costco is a club. You pay an annual membership fee in exchange for a variety of benefits.

I’m a Costco FANATIC. (Full disclosure: I own Costco stock – and even in the current climate, it’s doing okay!) Quality products, great prices, and free food samples – what more do you need? We buy anything and everything at Costco. Costco buyers negotiate excellent prices up front, and then they pass those prices along to members. It’s said that Costco will NEVER mark up an item more than 14% above its own price. Joining Costco, if you have the opportunity, is a no brainer. One big ticket purchase like a TV and your annual membership fee is covered.

What about GOOD SAM CLUB? It all depends. Do you intend to do a LOT of camping in privately owned full hookup campgrounds? If so, it makes sense to join Good Sam Club. We’ve had some good experiences (albeit not our best experiences) at those parks. When we are doing a lot of travel, our Good Sam membership just about covers itself.

Note that some (not all) campgrounds will honor AAA membership discounts as well as Good Sam Club. So if you are a AAA member, you reap some of these discount rewards too.

What about PUBLIC LIBRARIES? These aren’t technically “clubs,” but you pay your membership fees in taxes whether you use them or not. So you might as well use them. These days, a well run library is a source for all sorts of media. In addition to books, you can get movies, music, and Internet – it’s a media moocher’s paradise. Is that what Ben Franklin had in mind?

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Should negative experiences be discussed in this space? It’s simple reality that if you choose to get out of bed in the morning, you run the risk of a negative experience. (This is probably why Hugh Hefner wisely chose to work directly from bed for several years.) Overall I think a recounting of negative experiences can be helpful, since others may learn from our woes.

Yamaha Generator TRIPLE FAIL MANEUVER from Sean Michael on Vimeo.

In the past, I’ve made glowing references to our Yamaha EF3000iSEB generator. Indeed, it’s been dubbed “the unsung hero” of our Airstream travels. For more than three camping seasons, it cranked out a steady stream of clean electrical current, powering our Airstream’s microwave and air-conditioner without complaint. It was a rock solid reliable companion. Until one day…it wasn’t. One day it simply refused to crank.

It was too young to die. Yes, we’ve used our generator quite a bit over the course of three years, but not as much as you might think. We haven’t used it throughout the calendar year. It’s primarily seen duty during the summer months when we do most of our Airstream camping. During those summer months, we haven’t used it on a daily or even weekly basis. The generator is there for times when no other source of power is available. When we are camping in a campground with electricity, there’s simply no need to use the generator. When we are at home, the generator is nestled inside our comfy garage.

My point is that our generator, while no spring chicken, is not a “high mileage” example either. If this was a car, it would be a fancy convertible that gets driven in a spirited fashion on sunny summer days. This is not a cheap Chinese knockoff – it’s a $2200 premium Japanese product that one might reasonably expect to work reliably for many years. Unfortunately it is not equipped with an hours meter. Such a meter would display the exact usage without guesswork.

When our generator failed to start, we took it to a local Yamaha service center. We also asked national Yamaha Customer Service for a “goodwill” extension of warranty coverage. I once owned a BMW that experienced a mechanical problem while just a few months outside of warranty coverage. The company had every right to refuse coverage, but instead BMW of North America agreed to pick up the tab. Bravo BMW!

In this case, our request for a goodwill warranty extension was declined by Yamaha corporate in California (yes, Jocelyn in Customer Service, I’m looking at you). This is one of those corporate decisions that was understandable and defensible, yet disappointing. You can make the argument that Yamaha’s got to draw the line somewhere, and they have the right to draw it in bright line fashion. Fair enough, but ANY offer of support (parts, labor, or sympathy card & flowers) would have been appreciated. We got nothing.

Our experience with our local Yamaha service center also fell short of expectations. We paid them to do a “diagnosis & report.” They gave us a report that included no diagnosis, so we decided to take our generator elsewhere. The situation got worse; when they returned our unit it was still in a disassembled state, and missing several key components! Only after I made a lot of “unhappy customer” noise did they bother to give us our battery, several covers, and essential screws & bolts. All of that stuff had been tossed into a cardboard box which they neglected to bring outside.

At this point in our tale, we have a dead generator and no support from Yamaha. Here’s where matters take a happy turn. Once we got our generator home from the Yamaha shop, Kristy’s father was intrigued. Harry had never worked on a Yamaha generator in his life. But he was curious about the source of the problem.

“You want me to open that thing up?” Harry asked.

“Sure,” I said, “It can’t hurt to look.”

Over the next half hour Harry took the generator apart, piece by piece. It was like watching a giant 3D jigsaw puzzle being solved in reverse.

When we got to the magic moment, Harry opened up the head of the motor. The problem was immediately apparent: a small piece of metal was actually INSIDE the head of the motor! There’s pretty much no way that a foreign object could work its way into that spot. The logical conclusion is that the metal somehow dislodged from the interior of the motor. This would indicate a defective product.

While this diagnosis sounds rather terrible, we were lucky. Although the metal piece had banged around a bit inside the motor, it had not done any significant damage to the engine’s critical organs. The damage appeared to be minimal. Once we removed the little metallic intruder, Harry reassembled the generator, and yes, it sprang to life. One turn of the key and it began humming happily away like nothing had ever happened. I’ve never been so pleased to hear that little generator do its thing.

So that’s the story of our ailing Yamaha generator and our experience with Yamaha Customer Service. I wish I had more positive news to report, but as the saying goes, “it is what it is.” I am telling the story because it may aid you in your camping experiences. What lessons can be learned?

First of all, if you already own a Yamaha generator, don’t push the panic button just yet. I haven’t heard a rash of reports of defective Yamaha generators, so perhaps our situation was unusual. Whatever the case, as always you should make certain you are properly servicing your generator with necessary oil changes and the like. I’d rather pay a little for preventative maintenance and longevity than pay a lot for a major breakdown.

Also, you might as well go ahead and check your warranty coverage. It’s safe to assume that Yamaha will not help you if your generator is a day out of warranty. You need to make sure that you’ve got all of your paperwork ready to go if there is ever any problem. Keep your receipts on file (this didn’t help in our case, but perhaps they will be more kind to you).

If you don’t already have a generator and are evaluating Yamaha, consider our experience as anecdotal evidence from one customer. When you are shopping for a high quality camping generator, the leading brands in my mind are Honda and Yamaha. My previous choice has been obvious. But after our recent experience, I’m inclined to recommend Honda. Although our Yamaha has served us well, this recent episode has shaken my confidence in the brand. Honda engines have a reputation for reliability; Honda parts & service are easily found.

Do I still have confidence in our Yamaha generator? Regrettably, the answer is no. While I’m certain that the problem has been successfully repaired for the time being, what’s bothersome is the SOURCE of the problem. The metal must have come from INSIDE the generator itself. While I hope we never again see this sort of problem, who knows? Another piece of metal could break loose at any moment.

Aye, there lies the rub. We may yet enjoy a decade of reliable use from this generator. But it’s also possible that it will die tomorrow. If it does, we know that Yamaha won’t be there to help.

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