Jackson Center, Ohio (Rooters) –
Today Airstream announced that it will launch a new line of travel trailers inspired by the legendary “Squarestream” models of the 1980s. These new travel trailers will be dubbed the “Steelstream” line.
All Steelstream trailers will be square, rather than round, in appearance. Furthermore, these models eschew the use of traditional lightweight aluminum in favor of vinyl-wrapped heavyweight stainless steel over a heavyweight steel frame.
A 2015 “Steelstream” ordered with the exclusive “Bacon Club Chalupa” wrap option.
“Aluminum is expensive and — quite frankly — annoying to work with,” explained company spokesperson Rob Deeler. “Steel is heavy and will keep these bricks firmly planted as they hurtle down the highway.”
Indeed, the entry level “Godzuki” model (replacing the venerable “Bambi”) will tip the scales at 15,000 pounds.
“Even better,” Deeler added, “with cutting edge vinyl exterior graphics we can simulate the look of aluminum – not to mention brick, or wood paneling, or even vinyl siding.”
Indeed, vinyl graphics are intrinsic to the Steelstream concept. Although heavier weight affects fuel economy, costs will be offset by corporate sponsorships.
All Steelstream customers will be REQUIRED to choose “wraps” of exterior vinyl with Burger King, KFC, and Taco Bell among the available themes.
“We’re offering a launch special on the Taco Bell exterior option,” Deeler explained. “YUM brands has generously pledged a $1500 credit to anyone who orders a 2015 Steelstream that’s wrapped to resemble a Bacon Club Chalupa.”
Interior packages follow a similar theme. “We’ve listened to our customers,” Deeler said, “designing an interior that not only delivers on the promise of the exterior, but also offers seating for a family of eighteen.”
Interior. In a nod to vintage design, Steelstream interiors boast tall ceilings & a 1970s vibe.
Mr. Deeler concluded with an message targeted at the legion of culinary entrepreneurs who currently utilize vintage Airstream trailers.
“With the Brickstream, if anyone ever wants to convert their trailer to a doughnut, cupcake, or foie gras restaurant — the heavy lifting will have already been done.”
In lieu of the traditional propane stove, all Steelstreams will be equipped with commercial grade deep fat fryers.
Orders for new Steelstream trailers are being accepted as of April 1.
Yep – this is a joke.